


talk me down

by jooyun



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, f(x)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:04:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooyun/pseuds/jooyun
Summary: and it’s there – the soft, hazy light of evenings in seoul, his head in qian’s lap, her fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair – that’s where changmin wants to be the most.





	1. talk me down

**Author's Note:**

> "so come over now... and talk me down." inspired by the troye sivan song of the same name. 
> 
> because although i am convinced that these two were definitely something, i'm also convinced that they've broken up. but i still miss them, ok? (changmin does too.)

_"but i want to sleep next to you."_

changmin tugs the heavy down comforter over his body, burrowing deeper into his sheets. even with three layers of blankets, he can’t seem to get warm.

he shivers and covers his head with the blankets. his breathing, muffled and slow against the cotton, is almost soothing.

it’s in the pitch black darkness that he lets himself remember. reminisce.

the feeling of qian’s presence next to him, the way she fit against his chest, the way she’d hold his hands in hers until they were warm. the way she’d yelp when his cold feet brushed against her skin, but let him intertwine their legs anyway. the way his palm glided over her hipbone.

and his favorite - the scent of honey, faint and sweet, when he stuck his nose into her hair.

changmin tries to take a deep breath, wonders how long smells can linger in blankets, but the lack of oxygen soon has him gasping for air. he twists his covers away and sits up, shoulders heaving.

_"and i want to come home to you."_

before his enlistment, he’d thought a lot about the end of it. he could see it in his mind’s eye – he’d come out of the gate in his uniform. qian would be running towards him with the biggest smile, and he would catch her in his arms and kiss her.

they would finally move in together. he would buy groceries and pout as he asked her to cook his favorite dishes with them. she’d smack him while complaining but when he would arrive home the next day, late after another practice or recording session, the food would be waiting for him on the table under a layer of tinfoil. and qian would be waiting for him, too, watching one of her favorite historical chinese dramas on her laptop. he’d join her after eating and complain about the lack of korean subtitles as she gave him rough translations, too engrossed to go into more detail.

and it’s there – the soft, hazy light of evenings in seoul, his head in qian’s lap, her fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair – that’s where changmin wants to be the most.

_"i want to hold hands with you."_

he’d always wanted to take qian around japan, to show her his favorite hiking trails and visit the shop with the best udon he’s ever had. changmin would converse easily with the elderly woman placing their orders on the table and then ask for more napkins. light and fragrant, the steam from the soup would billow into their faces. qian wouldn’t be able to resist and dig in with her wooden chopsticks. changmin would laugh when she mispronounced the japanese word for noodles, correcting her as she slurped up more udon.

he’d keep holding her hand under the table.

_"i want to be close to you."_

he needs to find her, he realizes. changmin pulls on a coat and puts his wallet in the pocket, the one with all of his international credit cards. he has no idea where she is but he knows how to find out. it doesn’t matter. he needs to tell her how he feels – that he loves her, that he’s been missing her so much it hurts, and that he’s sorry. he’s getting almost dizzy just thinking about it.

he opens the door and is entirely unprepared for the sight in front of him.

qian lifts her head and her hair falls away from her face. her eyes, filled with unshed tears, have a longing in them that reflect his own.

like two magnets - undeniable and inevitable, they fall into each other.


	2. let's pretend

there's no prying gazes, no cameras, finally, no barriers between herself and the man she loved. loves.  
  
changmin's eyes are incredibly clear and yet inscrutable as he stares back at her. it's been too long, far too long, for sparks to still fly - but her stomach is filled with a familiar flutter.  
  
qian can't stop herself and takes the plunge, kisses him hard, his mouth like cool water, refreshing and sweet. her hand tightens around his shirt with a longing that means _i don't want to let go._ changmin closes his fist around her own as his answer.  
  
"qian... is this what you really want?" he asks, forehead pressed against hers, catching his breath.  
  
her expression cracks, like glass about to shatter. "let's pretend," she says in a low voice. "just - right now, let's forget the past and pretend that we're okay."  
  
he can't help but feel pained by her request but like everything else, he also can't say no to it. changmin kisses a spot under her eye then moves down, over her jaw, the corner of her mouth, her neck. "anything for you."  
  
that's what changmin is so good at - loving her so perfectly in the little moments. and qian has tried her best to hold onto them, to collect them, but they overflow like water in crushed fists. her hands feel too small for his love, especially when things like career and family and duty take up all the space instead.  
  
but they're pretending. just for now. so she cups his face in between her hands, and for this moment, it's like holding the sun, his affection so present and so real. she basks in the glow and she can't help the smile spreading on her face.  
  
he smiles back.


End file.
